Cleaning

I got home yesterday from work and did something I have not done in quite some time-I got busy cleaning. Since becoming pregnant, all I can think about at the end of the day is finding something to eat and sitting down to rest for the remainder of the evening.

Not sure if the fatigue is starting to go away a bit or that the day was so gorgeous I felt inspired-either way, I came in yesterday and put some items away that were still in boxes from the house remodel. I even used some contact paper! If anyone has used this, they know of the frustration that comes with using sticky paper in small spaces. But it worked out great. I was thrilled! So I moved on to scrubbing counters and sweeping and mopping floors. The kitchen looks and smells great. Now if I can carry that momentum into today through the rest of the house...

Chaos

I guess I should have known, with my personality, that getting pregnant would send me into a tailspin. I feel like I am in a frenzy of worry and anxiety. Maybe it is just being fatigued, maybe it is just that I am neurotic, who knows.

I know that I have about 6 months to get things done, but somedays it doesn't feel like that. Getting a nursery set-up, painting rooms in the house I have been meaning to paint, clean, get rid of old stuff, childcare, money, etc. It just feels like it all needs to be done tomorrow. Now, I totally get that this is not rational-I have plenty of time. I get that. But I still feel so anxious about getting things done before the baby gets here.

What it probably is, honestly, is worry about what life will be like when the baby gets here. Will I ever get to sleep? Will it be a good baby or not? Will Adam and I be able to learn what to do? Will our house be a good one for a baby? Will we have money? And since I don't have any of the answers for any of those, trying to get my house painted somehow seems to make those things better-kind of like having control over the things I can have control over when everything else seems out of control.

I know the simple answer is just "Relax. Breathe" etc. But that seems much easier said than done.