50/50

I was talking to a friend of mine the other day about housework issues I have begun to feel with Adam and I. Basically, I always feel like I do more. It has started to make me feel very angry. When I brought these feelings to my friend, she pulled out a book she used at a conference. There was a ton of great information in there, but the part she pulled out was in the section "Five Threats to Your Marriage." One of the threats was viewing marriage the way that the world views marriage. The specifically related to me, as it pertains to the 50/50 principle.
The world teaches us to do our part-you do half, and I'll do half. But, the problem with this is that's not what God tells us to do. God calls for us to give 100% of ourselves to the marriage all the time. OUCH! Do I give 100% all the time? No way, I don't. Because what happens is I expect Adam to do his half and I plan to do my half. When he doesn't, I get angry-I'm not affectionate, I try to retaliate, and I want to do less. Is that 100%? Certainly not.
My friend went on.... The 50/50 rule is doomed to failure. There is no way it can work. Besides what I mentioned above (that it's not God's plan), it will fail because half cannot be measured. What is half? How can you measure when the other person has done exactly half? The fact of the matter is you can't. It's also doomed to failure because one person will always feel like they are doing more. No matter if Adam busts his butt, something is going to happen that will make me feel like I am doing more. If you were to ask Adam right now, he may feel like he is the one doing more.
And so it comes down to this-Adam and I will be soon working out a better system. And while that is happening, I am going to work on us being more of teammates and getting things done together. And I am hoping somewhere in this process I learn to give something a lot more closer to 100%. I challenge you to do the same.