3 months

As of yesterday, I have a 3 month old. I doesn't seem like 3 months have passed by. It's gone so fast and been so great! Bennett is beginning to reach for things. Although he still doesn't have great control over his arms, you can tell he knows things are there and swats at them. He now prefers to sit up on your leg, just to check out everything. He doesn't like to be tilted back unless it is time to eat. Sitting up is his choice now.

Unfortunately, he is still not sleeping through the night. Sometimes he'll wake up

once, sometimes twice or more. It is very unpredictable. He was doing great with going to sleep on his own, but then he got sick last Sunday with a cold. I have been rocking him to sleep the past nights. We'll get back on track soon, I know.

Bennett smiles like crazy now! I love it!!! I turn into mush when he lays that grin on me. I squeal and laugh like I have won the lottery-I guess, in a sense, I have. He is

definitely a charmer.

Motherhood has been amazing. I love being Bennett's mommy. It has not been easy, I will say. Adam works so much and I often feel left alone to do everything. And when

Bennett cries and I can't fix it, that is so hard for me. Trying to juggle everything-going to the store, going to the bank, laundry, dishes, work-on top of having a baby is so much...TOO much sometimes. Some days I get so angry that I am so overworked. But honestly, that all fades away when he lays that smile on me. I can't resist but fall in love all over again. He is amazing.

Check Up and Sleep

Bennett had his 2 month check up a few weeks ago. Our pediatrician, though describing him as a "hunk-o-baby," said he was right on track. He weighed 14 pounds 3 ounces. He has reached all of his milestones. Pretty much, he's perfect. One of the other things the doctor said was "Ya know, he is big enough to be able to sleep through the night." Then he gave me the game plan, which he said will have him sleeping through the night in just three nights.

Now I have heard of the cry it out method, and was not a fan. I thought it was basically putting your child in their crib and letting them cry until they fell asleep, even if that took hours. Once I realized that it was a tool to teach your child they could fall asleep on their own and that you could go back in every few minutes to comfort them, I was somewhat on board. And then Bennett started griping every time he needed to go to sleep, even if he was really tired. After a couple bouts of trying to rock and bounce to no avail, I finally just held him while he griped until he went to sleep. After those couple of times, I realized it would not be the end of the world if he cried a little bit when it was time to go to bed. Then I was totally on board. But in case it was terrible, I decided to wait until Christmas break to start.

Last night, we began. We fed him, bathed him, read him a book, then swaddled him and put him in his crib. He griped for less than 10 minutes. He didn't even cry. Since we are getting better about keeping him awake longer, he was ready to go to sleep. He pretty much went straight to bed. Tonight was the same. I am so excited. Though I was kind of ready to let him put himself to bed, I knew I would give in if he cried too much or too hard. I am so glad he went to sleep easily. Now I am guilt free.

Now, if I could only get him to sleep past 5 am ....

Work and Bennett

So it turns out that working was not as bad as I thought. The toughest part of it all, honestly is the mental battle I have with myself. It is so tough to work all day and come home and keep going, taking care of a baby. Especially when I have always been used to coming home, eating and sitting down to read. It's hard. But I try to take time every day to just look at his sweet face-it truly does make it worth it.

I think I have written about this before, but I am in a new school this year. One of the awesome things they built in the new school is a nursery. This means that Bennett gets to be at school with me everyday. I knew going into it that it would be pretty cool, but it is even better than I thought. I get to go down there and have lunch with him. I get to hold him and kiss his chubby cheekers. And if he is asleep, I'll love on one of my friends' babies who are there. It really is working out great!

Although I am tired and mentally worn out, I am enjoying being back at work. I feel more refreshed and excited to be there. I feel like I have something that is mine again. I think I would have been happy continuing on in the stay at home mom direction, but this is still great for me and I am glad to be back at work. It is going great!

A Few Pics of My Little Man

2 Months and Work (Bleck!)

Well, the time has arrived... 8 weeks have gone by and I am returning to work tomorrow. It is not that I am not happy to go back and see my friends, my students, and to get back into some sort of a structure-I am. But I am so sad to be away from Bennett. The longest I have been away from him since he was born is maybe 3 hours. He is just so much a part of me, that to be away from him all day will be a huge adjustment. On a happy note, since I only work 2 days this week, Mom agreed to keep him. Since Adam will be off work tomorrow, Adam will keep him Monday and Mom has him Tuesday. And then the tough part comes-the following week he goes to infant care. That day will be hard too.

On a brighter note, Bennett is doing great! He is almost 2 months old! It is crazy! He is SO FREAKIN' CUTE, I can't stand it sometimes! He has been making a lot more noises lately. Some of his happy noises just make me melt! He likes sitting in his swing and his bouncy seat and will often sit there for quite a long time. It gives us time to hang out and chat. He enjoys the bath tub. He kicks his legs and flaps his arms a lot and I love it! I am very excited for his first Thanksgiving and Christmas-the holidays are going to be so much fun!

Even though I am bummed about going to work, I am so happy that is he growing up and being a sweet, cute boy. He is literally a huge light in my life. I love every moment with him He is one of the biggest blessings in my life!

1 Month

It is awesome that Bennett is one month old! It does not seem anywhere near one month since he got here. Of course, that could be because, being awake at odd hours of the night seems to make my days just run into each other.

Bennett is doing awesome. He is more alert, more often. He likes to stare at my face, which I love. It works out because I love to stare at his face. He is breathtaking. He has recently discovered a painting on his wall of the ABC's and stares at them while he is being changed. He is a good sleeper and eater and just generally a good baby.

I have 2 weeks until I return to work and I will say, I am dreading it. I would love to take longer if I could. Even though he will be at the nursery at school with me, I am still nervous about leaving him there in the care of someone else who isn't my family. I some how feel like I am doing him an injustice. But I know it will be ok. I know it will get better as time goes on.

As I have said before, mother hood is even better than I expected. It may sound weird, but I love the little stuff like feeding him, bathing him, and putting on his clothes. He is such a dream and I feel like the luckiest person ever to have him in my life.

Thoughts on Motherhood

Doubts, fears, insecurities, anxieties-you name it, I probably had it about motherhood. I was afraid I would not bond with Bennett. I was scared of the hospital. I was nervous about leaving work. I was worried I wouldn't know what to do with a newborn. I was flat out, just scared about everything imaginable.

And then, at 6:22 on September 27th, all of that went away. And since that day, it has been pushed further and further back. I cannot believe that I spent all that time beforehand being so worked up. Things have gone even better than I could have imagined. Bennett is gorgeous and perfect. And mommyhood is something I am enjoying WAY better than I thought I would. I just look at him everyday and I think about how great things are. He is so sweet and I just love wrapping him up in my arms and snuggling him tight to me. I love to make him stop crying and listening to his little squeaky noises.

My labor was rough-long day, no sleep, lots of pain. But I would do it again in an INSTANT for this little guy. He is now my world and I cherish him more than I knew I could.

He's Here!

Wow, what a great past few days! It was a tough road, but I am so thrilled that Bennett is here!

Adam and I checked into the hospital Sunday night, the 26th at 10pm. They did a couple of checking in and medical type things. I was supposed to get some sleep, but that did not happen. Mom and I ended up sitting up all night and talking. At 6:00, the doctor's came in to start the pitocin drip. A few hours later, I was given some pain medication. At this point, I had been up 24 hours, so I was very tired and the medicine hit me very hard. I was quite drunk! My family has had a good time retelling all the stories of that day.

Long story short, labor progressed slowly. I got my epidural at 2 cm-earlier than they wanted, but contractions were happening so often even though I wasn't dilating too much, so they went ahead and gave it to me. I spent most of the day laying around out of it because of fatigue and medicine.

Being a bit spacey, as it turns out was quite a blessing. Once the doctor broke my water, it became apparent that something wasn't going well. Every time I had a contraction, Bennett's heart rate would drop. Turns out his cord was near a body part-most likely his shoulder-and each contraction would push his cord against his body, causing his heart rate to drop. The nurses kept coming in often, continually turning me from one side to the other, and monitoring his heart rate. Had I known all of this was happening, I would have been very scared.

Finally, around 5 pm, I dilated to ten and was able to begin pushing. My doctor was awesome-she did not want me to have an emergency C-section or have to use any kind of tools to get him out, which I did not want either. It took an hour of pushing, but finally at 6:22 pm, Bennett Gibson Rowe made it into the world, weighing 8 lbs 1 oz.

It was one of the longest days of my life-when it was all said and done I had been awake close to 40+ hours. Needless to say, I was delirious. But it was completely, totally, 100 million percent worth it!

Almost here!

As I sit down to type tonight, I am blown away that I will have a little baby boy in just 6 days! This is amazing, scary, exciting, all at the same time. This pregnancy really seems to have gone by fast. Ten months ago, I was telling Adam, "It says pregnant and I am NOT lying!" And now here I am, making sure my little guy has the "right" clothes and packing my hospital bag and getting ready for his arrival.This has been an interesting experience to say the least. It has been a tougher one than I expected, but still very good. In the end, seeing his face will make it all worth it, I know.

And new news-my induction has been moved up to Sunday the 26th, which will put him here Monday the 27th. I have also moved hospitals. I was originally scheduled to go in Monday and deliver Tuesday, but I got a call last week letting me know that Tuesday night my doctor was on call until only 7:00. That meant if he came too late on Tuesday, I ran the risk of her not being able to deliver him. So, if I moved hospitals (Women's East was full on Sunday night), I could deliver on Monday and she would be able to deliver him. So, it looks like I am headed out to Parkridge East. This is kind of cool, since that is where I was born. Bennett will be born at the same place I was! I like that!

I am tired and ready for this guy to get here! 6 days!!!

37 weeks

36 weeks

Bennett's Room

When I decided that I wanted dinosaurs for Bennett's room, it did not seem like that much of an undertaking...until we went to look for dinosaur stuff. What I found was either too "big boy" or just flat out ugly. Adam and I picked out colors from a random string of dinosaur lights I saw at Kohl's that I liked and we kind of tried to go from there. We painted the walls, but that was about all I had. I knew I wanted some dinosaurs on the wall but was very specific about what they were to look like. I found one single sheet of scrapbook paper at Hobby Lobby that had dinosaurs on it, and decided those were the ones that were perfect for his wall. My mom volunteered to help me paint some of the stuff that I wanted on his wall. She and her friend Kathy are amazingly talented and crafty, so they were enlisted just for a few simple dinos on the wall-and then it took OFF! Mom found so many great ideas online. She transformed my puny little vision into a masterpiece. His room is seriously THE most amazing baby room I have ever seen in my life!!! Here are some pics from Mom and Kathy's work of art.

They added dinosaur feet to the pulls for the fan
His 3-D palm tree with the dinosaur lights that started the whole thing
The front of his changing table

Love this saying!!!

The crib is Greco tested, Greco approved.

Above his crib

The corner area-rocking chair with changing table and bookcase.
His window-the dinos underneath are the ones from the piece of paper I found.
His closet door with his growth chart.

The room from the door.

37 Week Doctor's Visit

Yesterday was my weekly doctor visit. Some good news, some not so good news. Turns out, my body is still not doing anything-not good news. No dilating, no effacing, and Bennett still hasn't completely dropped. My doctor explained to me that she would induce no earlier than 39 weeks, which I totally agree with. I don't care to wait until 40 weeks to be induced. She also let me know that if I induced any earlier than that there are health concerns to Bennett as well as a higher chance of having to have a C-Section. I did decide that I wanted to be induced, however, I wanted to wait until 40 weeks. So, the date for my induction is set Monday, September 27, which will put him here, most likely, on Tuesday, September 28th. We will go in Monday night at 10:00 pm.

I am very excited about having a date, though I do still know Bennett could decide to change that date at any time. However, I am very nervous about some stuff. I have never stayed in the hospital in this capacity before. The last time I was at a hospital overnight was my own birth. I have never had to sleep in a hospital bed and have never had to be hooked up to that type of machinery. Also, given the fact that my body isn't doing anything right now, I worry that I may run the risk of ending up with a C-Section anyway. That makes me nervous about having major surgery, as I have never had that either. So many firsts, so much that is scary.

As scared as I am, I am getting more and more excited to meet this little guy. His room is incredible and cozy and I can't wait to show it to him. I can't wait to see his head full of hair and put on his own, cute clothes. I can't wait to hold him. The days are counting down now instead of up!

17 days!

36 Weeks...almost 37

As of tomorrow, I will be 37 weeks along. Just 3 weeks from Bennett's due date. Wow!!! If you've been reading this blog, you know that I have often struggled with my lack of excitement. I have felt very insecure about all the doubts that have plagued me. I am so happy to report that those fear and anxieties seem to be subsiding. Well, I am not sure if they are subsiding or my excitement for Bennett is starting to outweigh them.

I think now that it is getting closer, I am just so happy to get to see what he looks like-I think that is what has me hooked right now. His face is something I cannot wait to see. I am sure it will, without a doubt, be the most handsome face ever!

One other thing that is contributing to my excitement over Bennett being here is the knowledge that I will no longer be pregnant. I am ready for this to be over quite frankly. I am looking forward to not only having a sweet, precious little boy, but also some other perks such as :

• rolling over in the bed without pain.
• walking up the stairs without huffing and puffing.
• not sweating when I haven't exerted myself at all.
• having my ankles back.
• sleeping through the night.
• only peeing a few times a day.
• and SO much more!

Today's Doctor Visit

Today was yet another doctor visit-I am going every week now. Last week when I went, I was 35 weeks, but my belly was measuring 39 weeks. This week I had an ultrasound and it looks like I am right on track. This was a really cool visit, as we got to see him really well on the ultrasound. And we got to learn a lot about him.

One of the things I am most excited about is he has hair! I figured he would and was really hoping he'd have a head of hair when he is born. I am excited that he does! He currently weighs 6 lbs 11 0z. The doctor estimated he might be in the 8 lb range at birth. And we got to see his hiccups. Bennett gets the hiccups at least once a day. It was so much fun to see them instead of just feel them!

As far as when he will be here, obviously he could come at whenever he feels like it. But as for my body- I am not dilating or effacing any. He's not even dropped all the way down yet. She told me that if my body continues in this path, then she will either have to induce me (if I want to deliver on my due date) or I will have to wait past my due date (if I want him to come when he comes). Induction, please! But I am well aware that this could all be pointless, as he could come tomorrow if he wanted...which is why things are packed for the hospital and I am getting as much done as I can.

It was so great to see him on the ultrasound today, I can say that. I have been pretty excited today, thinking about seeing his sweet face. It has been mostly stress for me along the way, I have mentioned that. So I am very happy that today brought feelings of excitement and not fear. I can welcome some excitement in this journey!

Oh, and also it was reconfirmed that he is for sure a boy. :o) Adam was relieved.

Bennett's Stuff

First, I think it goes without saying that Bennett has a TON of stuff!!!! Clothing, especially! But I was playing around on Picnik and thought I would make a collage of some of the stuff he has gotten so far. So here it is- A pair of pajamas for when he gets bigger (the bottoms are big boy shorts and so cute), a pair of shoes with his initials on them, a onesie that says "Dad's Cool-A-Sauraus", and some dino p.j.'s with claws on the feet. He has so much cool stuff!

Baby Update

I am now 4 1/2 weeks away from Bennett's arrival...hopefully. I went to the doctor on Wednesday, and she measured my belly, as she always does. Usually she says "Right on track." This time she said, "Hmm, you are 35 weeks, but you are measuring 39 weeks." I, of coursed, started to have a panic attack and said what any normal person would-"Does that mean he is coming next week? I don't have lesson plans ready!" She told me that it, most likely, does not mean he will be here next week, especially since she checked me and I have not dilated any. That is a relief. But, just to be sure, I got moving on my lesson plans, talked with my principal, and got my maternity leave forms turned in. I was getting really worried about not getting things done (which of course, I still am), but doing those couple of things really helped.

Bennett's room is almost finished, which is great. It is finished enough that he would have a cute room, should he come early, but my mom and her best friend Kathy are coming to paint some stuff on his wall. That is why I have not posted pictures of it yet-I want to wait until they get all the painting finished. I will say though, his room is going to be ADORABLE!

I had a baby shower this week with my friend from the school I taught at in Dalton. It was so awesome. My friends Jessica Aslinger and Luisa Hale threw it for me. It was so cute and thoughtful and I LOVED it! Here are some of the pictures from the shower.

My kind of shower food-pizza, chips, and candy! It was so yummy!

His name hung above the door-Jessica made it. It was SO cute!

Dinosaur cake. Made by Cynthia Martinez. Awesome and TASTY!

Opening gifts.

35 Weeks

OOPS! Somehow, I missed a pic of Week 34. Oh well, I think it would have looked the same as week 33 and 35!

33 Weeks

Baby Shower

Last Sunday, I had a wonderful baby shower hosted by my sister, Misty; my aunt, Jennifer; and my grandmother. It was so cute and fun! Adam and I were blessed with so many great gifts. We got many cute clothes, but also some bigger things like a stroller and car seat. Of course, there were many cute outfits too! Here are some pics of the great day!

Adam sat on a cupcake

Paper bottles for people to write advice on

Diaper cake-Misty made it. So cute!

Baby Thoughts

Just finished putting Bennett's cute little stroller/car seat together (who knew you had to assemble the things?) and am now sitting here looking at it in my living room. I am thinking about the little person who will soon be sitting in it. I am hoping he will have a beautiful smile like his dad's and will smile up at me from his cozy little car seat, thankful at the sweating I did to get it put together. I am sure he will be eternally grateful.

Baby Bennett's arrival is getting closer and closer. Most days I am not sure what to think about that. Sure I am nervous and scared about the whole process. But most days I find it just crazy that I am having a baby in the first place. Doesn't anyone see I am too young and immature for this? I mean, no one is going to try and stop me?! I am often comforted by the memory of getting married and feeling these same feelings. I felt too young to be getting married, to be someone's "wife." But, in time, I fell into that role and I did not feel so weird about it anymore. I know it will be the same way with being someone's "mom." In fact, I wonder if I might even fall into the mom role easier. We'll see, I guess.

As the arrival date gets closer, things are falling into place. His room is almost finished. And we have gotten some great stuff (I will post about the baby shower later), and life is getting more prepared. Of course, that is just life and the details. I, however, am in full on nesting mode. I think I may be more hormonal than I was at the beginning. I know poor Adam's head must be spinning. I am tired, cranky, and want everything ordered and perfect before Bennett gets here. I know that is stressing Adam, as I tend to snap at him more often these days.

I think the both of us are getting to the stage that we are ready for him to be here, no matter how anxious we are about it. Me because I am tired and irritable and big. And Adam because he probably no longer wants to deal with a tired, irritable and big me!

5 1/2 weeks...

32 Weeks

Pregnancy Update

I am now 32 weeks along (picture soon). This means I am 8 weeks away from delivery! Wow! I know that is 2 months, but that seems right around the corner. I went to the doctor this past week and got a good report-his heartbeat sounds great, he's growing fine, and his head is down. Also, according to her many years of medical training, he is going to be "a rascal."

Most of my days right now are filled with pain and fatigue. This pregnancy has not been a breeze, and some form of ache is my constant companion. Plus, I started back to work this week. It might not be so bad except for two things- One, I am trying to run at the warp speed I have always run at. I am learning that is no longer possible. And two, I am working in a building that is HUGE! This means that anytime I need to go somewhere, it is usually quite a haul to get there. Most days I have been so tired or my back has hurt so much that I feel as if I am running in slow motion. I go to work, come home, and park it on the couch with an ice pack for the duration of the evening.

Ok, so that is enough of my complaining. On to the good stuff. Although this is my first pregnancy and I have nothing to compare it to, Bennett seems to be quite the active boy. He moves a lot! And the sharp kicks have mostly become the squirmy, rolling wiggles. I will say that is one thing I enjoy.

Also, his room is almost finished-I will most pictures when it is completed. It looks great so far and is coming together with the things I have picked up along the way for him. And of course, his drawers are filled with clothes! :o)

Things are going great-minus the achenes. I have a shower coming up soon that I am so excited about! And work is starting which I know will make the time fly by-he will be here before I know it!

31 Weeks

30 Weeks

29 Weeks

28 Weeks

27 Weeks

26 weeks

25 weeks

NESTING!

NESTING! That is pretty much all I have been doing lately. In a quest to get things ready for Bennett, I have been going what feels like non stop. My mom has been graciously dedicating a ton of time to helping me do the things I have been wanting to do in the house and have either not done or not known what to do (I am nowhere near as decorator minded as my mom). We have painted rooms, made little crafts, rearranged rooms, etc, etc, etc. I am so happy that these things are getting finished-honestly, they may not have gotten done otherwise.

Here are a few things we have gotten finished:

We got this cabinet for $2.50 at the thrift store. After $1.00 worth of paper and some Modge Podge, I now have a new and super cute bathroom cabinet!

We made some wall art out of canvases and fabric. About $15.00 total for the whole thing!

This deal was awesome. We needed furniture we could use both for storage and for sitting on-hence, this bench. The bench was originally $200, but we found it on sale at a place for $120. This bench had a piece that was damaged so we got it for $40.00! And to spruce it up (too much white on white), we decoupaged the inside and the back. We are in the process of doing a couple other things to it, but this is what it looks like so far. And this is the back!

Even though we have gotten a lot done, there are still a few other things I want to get done, which are all in the works here in the next few weeks. And this Friday, we are starting Bennett's room-YIPEE! I will for sure post pics of that!